Becoming Empathy

Empathy is not so much what we do. But who we are.  It makes its home deeply inside the very cells of our being. But there is a price to pay.  The price we pay for becoming empathy is coming face to face with who we are and what drives us. 

Music by Scott Holmes - A Wee Tipple 
Non Copyright Music 

Transcript

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A word that has come to hold a more prominent place in our language is empathy. However, just because empathy passes through our lips doesn't mean it resides in our hearts and into the very cells of our bodies. As Abraham Z describes, it comes from an inner perceptiveness of the other. He gives the best definition I've ever come across for empathy. He says, empathy is not simply a matter of paying attention to other people. It is also the capacity to take in emotional signals and to make them mean something in a relationship with an individual. People who have an inner perceptiveness that they can use in their relationships with others. Empathy isn't something to show. It's something to be. Empathy is not something to be practiced. It naturally grows when I am courageous enough to acknowledge those parts of me that aren't great, that wound others, and justify being that way. But then when instead of turning on ourselves, we understand what really thrives the ugliness. What need wasn't met? What ugly thing do I believe about myself? Why does that behavior or characteristic bug me so much? When I understand, truly understand myself, empathy naturally grows within us. It is not a practice, but an inner state of being. That's the difference between those whose empathy can actually be felt and those whose presence falls flat. Empathy soothes, heals, and inspires. It says, I know what you mean. I felt that way too. It's more than a few cheap phrases or the leaning forward in a chair while listening to the other. It's the felt presence of a person who was broken open.